mostly I just feel like sentience is a sick joke. I’m something of a societal invalid due to my disease… I don’t think i’ll ever be financially independent or self-sufficient. my introvertedness has made it such that I don’t have a social circle, just a very few people I’ve known for years and who have become distanced from me, aka, I bug them and request company otherwise they’d probably not have me in their life. The only use my phone has is to communicate with my parents and housemates.
I haven’t been invited to hang out or to do anything in i can’t remember how long, which sounds like I want attention but it’s more a telling symptom of how abysmal my social life is. I mean I want attention, but not superficially. I want connection
I’m not sure if this is even communicating what i want to try and say but I don’t know how to express it.
I sorta feel like my life has reached a dead end and i’m to endure a state of lonely isolation for the rest of it.